Hi Oracle readers,

I wanted to let you know about my new book, THE VAMPIRE STALKER. It comes out on June 1st.

What if the characters in a vampire novel left their world–and came into yours?

Amy is in love with someone who doesn’t exist: Alexander Banks, the dashing hero in a popular series of vampire novels. Then one night, Amy meets a boy who bears an eerie resemblance to Alexander. In fact, he IS Alexander, who has escaped from the pages of the book and is in hot pursuit of a wicked vampire named Vigo. Together, Amy and Alexander set out to track Vigo and learn how and why Alexander crossed over. But when she and Alexander begin to fall for each other, Amy wonders if she even wants him to ever return to the realm of fiction.

Hope you check it out! :-)

Knowledge-less Dancer

Dear Knowledge-less Dancer,

The Oracle is now having flashbacks to her own delightfully awkward middle-school dances! (grin)

There is no specific way to dance with your boyfriend. Most of the time girls don’t dance to fast songs with their boyfriends, they dance beside them in the exact same way they’d dance with their friends. So you can jump up and down all you want, or rock your solo moves, and he’ll dance however he wants to.

Your boyfriend may be feeling the same confusion you’re feeling. He might be relieved when he sees that all you’re going to do is dance beside him and not expect him to swing you around the dance floor. It’s also possible he’d prefer to dance with his guy friends instead of being the only guy in a group of girls. Either way, the important thing is that you’re understanding of each other.

Enjoy the dance!

The Oracle of Dating

Ok so I really like this guy. We have been flirting back and forth for awhile but he’s kind of a player. His longest relationship was 3 months which, compared to all my other friends relationships, is not very long. Also, I’m technically not allowed to date until I’m 16 (I’m 14 right now).  We have been texting back and forth all Winter break and he told me he really likes me but all of a sudden he stopped replying. Do you think its worth it to sneak around behind my parents back (i really like him though!)? Also, can you help me out? I can’t figure out if I should spend my time on him when I can’t even figure out his true feelings about me.

Thanks,

Lovesick

Hi Lovesick,

If you can’t figure out his true feelings about you, then you’re probably sensing that they aren’t very deep. He obviously likes you (he’s said so himself), but if he REALLY liked you, you’d be confident about that—and he wouldn’t have stopped replying to your texts.

You introduced this guy as being “kind of a player”. Is that a guy worth breaking the rules for? It sounds to me like your parents have your best interests in mind. Maybe they know what the Oracle keeps telling her readers—that teenage guys are usually not super mature. They likely want to save you some heartache, which is pretty cool, actually.

Remember what happened when Kayla told Viv to date Max against her parents’ wishes? Disaster! And in that case, Max was very interested in Viv…and he wasn’t a player.

How about this: if, over the next few weeks, you become convinced that this guy is the real deal, talk to your parents about him. If not, I’d wait until a better guy comes along before asking your parents to change their rules…

Good luck,

The Oracle

So there is this boy I met online (lame I know), and he’s really cool to talk to and I’ve sort of kinda fallen for him! It is so confusing because well he lives in the states (I’m from Central America) but like sometimes he talks to me and he’s really sweet but sometimes he’s all one word phrase. I don’t know what to do. I know it is so dumb to fall for someone who lives far away and whom I met online (I’m sure he’s not really a 40 yr old creeper). Should I still talk to him? What do I do? Help!

Thanks,

Confused

Hi Confused,

I won’t mince words here: I’d let this guy go. Making an online connection when you’re so far away from someone isn’t practical, especially if you’re a teen. Plus, although you say you’re sure he’s not a “40 yr old creeper”, you don’t really know. It would NOT be safe just to get on a plane or go meet him, so what’s the point?

It doesn’t even sound like your conversations are that stimulating. You should ask yourself what you’re really attracted to here – is it him, or the idea of him?

If it’s romance you’re looking for, take a look at the guys you know in real life, and see if there’s any potential. Don’t waste time chatting with someone you’ll never meet when you could be missing the real opportunities that are around you.

Peace Out,

 The Oracle

1.  My eyes fill up.  My throat is closing.  I’m either discovering a new food allergy or having my heart broken.

2.  Is he going to sneak into my room tonight and introduce me to the erotic arts?

3.  “May all his Jonas Brothers hair fall out!”

4.  Stay calm, Oracle.  Think.  Think damage control.

5.  Couldn’t he just shut up and look cute?  Is that too much to ask?

a) He’s avoiding your calls.

b) He keeps canceling on you.

c) You catch him getting cozy with another girl.

d) He spends more time with his friends than with you.

Correct answer? Any of the above. Warning signs vary. And if you’re really unlucky, there aren’t any.

Chapter One

Happily ever after is meant to last forever, right? Well, my happily ever after lasts five months, three weeks and two days. Then Jared drops a bomb.

“I need to take a step back, Kayla. I have to figure some things out right now.”

I stop listening after the “step back” part. I feel like I’m sinking through the floor. Jared is the one, isn’t he? This can’t be happening.

He’s watching me. “You’re not saying anything.”

“I’m chewing my pizza so I don’t choke.”

“Oh.”

I swallow my food. Keep it together, I tell myself. Having a public meltdown will only make this worse. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. Just that you understand.”

“I don’t.”

I don’t and I don’t want to. Why can’t this be any other Saturday night at Colonnade Pizza? I must’ve misheard him. He can’t be breaking up with me… God, he’s so beautiful with his curly dark hair falling over his forehead, and his blue eyes so tortured.  He’s talking again. “Ever since I didn’t get that scholarship to art school, I’ve had to think about what I’m going to do with my life.”

“I get that, but how does that lead to you dumping me?” And then it hits me. He must’ve met another girl…

So I met this guy a couple days ago and he gave me his number. We started texting that night, and he started telling me nice things, like that I was attractive. The thing is, my friends have a bad feeling about him. He’s being very nice to me, and he compliments me a lot (I’ve been struggling with my weight for years). Should I just stop everything, or continue to see what’s going to happen? Please help me!!

Not Sure

Hi Not Sure,

Ask yourself this: are you hesitant about this guy because your friends have a bad feeling about him, or because you do? If you didn’t have some doubt about this guy, you wouldn’t have emailed the Oracle.

If your friends are, indeed, good friends, then they’re probably looking out for you. Ask them WHY they have a bad feeling about him. Is he too old for you? Does he seem like a “player”?

It’s always great to hear someone say nice things about you. If you’re insecure, then it’s a much-needed ego boost. Take it, and run with it! Remember that you don’t owe him anything because of his compliments. You’re obviously aware that some guys use flattery to manipulate a girl into giving them what they want. Make sure his compliments don’t make you behave in a way you’re not comfortable with.

Trust me: he’s not going to be the only guy to see your beauty. So don’t rush into anything with him just because of that. If your gut gives you a green light, you can get to know him through group dates before going out with him solo. But it sounds like you’re hesitant for a reason…so it’s up to you to figure out what that reason is, perhaps with some help from your friends.

Good luck.

The O.

I’m eleven and I have this on-again off-again boyfriend and we started dating this summer then he said his mom won’t let him have a girlfriend but then 3 weeks later he said his mom will let him. He asked me but I said no. But now he won’t return my calls. I like him and I also don’t want to lose a friend. What should I do?

HELP!

Love,

Wanting Him Back!

Dear Wanting Him Back,

Thanks for your question.  To me, eleven is a wonderful age—an age to have fun!  Whether he’s a boyfriend, or just a boy friend, I don’t think there’s any need to label your relationship.  Obviously, his mom doesn’t like the label either, so I’d scrap it. 

Since you recently said no to being his girlfriend again, he may be hurt and that’s why he isn’t returning your calls.  Or—and forgive me for being blunt here—he may just be more focused on his video games, or whatever he does for fun.  Most eleven-year-old guys don’t have the life experience or maturity to figure out relationships with girls.  (And the same may be true a few years down the line…) 

It sounds like you have the right idea to just call it a friendship.  I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer– whether he calls you back or not.

The Oracle

My Boyfriend and I want to stay together over the summer. Only a couple problems though…

We don’t live close to each other and we don’t drive.

We’re both going away a lot and can’t talk or see each other that much.

I can’t text him because he doesn’t have a phone.

Do you have any tips or advice for making this relationship work over the summer?

We’re crazy about each other!

Thanks!

Summer Blues

Hi Summer Blues,

Great question, and timely, too.  A lot of couples are facing similar obstacles this summer.

I have a good feeling about you guys as a couple for two reasons.

1)      Your last line: “We’re crazy about each other!”  (That is soooo sweet, even to the Oracle, who admits to being jaded sometimes.)

2)      You have already identified the potential problems and are looking for advice to solve them.

It sounds like you won’t be seeing a lot of your boyfriend this summer, but that doesn’t mean the relationship can’t work.  In fact, absence can add a whole new element of excitement to your relationship.  It can actually make you appreciate each other more.  

I have a suggestion for what to do when you’re both away and can’t email or text.  Some would say it’s a downright ancient practice, but it’s also incredibly romantic…

Write letters to each other!  (Some call it snail mail, but the Oracle believes that doesn’t do it justice.) There is something very poignant and heartfelt about a traditional letter, especially if it’s handwritten.  And since you’ll both be going away a lot, you’ll have plenty of new experiences to share in your letters.  They can also be keepsakes for when you look back and remember that summer apart.

Sure, writing letters involves more effort than an email or a text, but it’s also more rewarding.  So if you guys do the work, you’ll make it work.

I wish you a summer full of love, longing, and lots of letters.

The Oracle of Dating